woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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