okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
