That's intense
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
do herpes really smell.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
