tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I can text with my tongue
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
