just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
