they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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