If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
