is your mom at the bar?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
