About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
