the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
