I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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