I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
