Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
