Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
