I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He shit in the fireplace
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
