My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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