yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
