You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
