yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
