Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
