i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
