It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I need water and some morals
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
