I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
