His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
