So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
