my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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