So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
