Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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