What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
