NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I need a beard to bite.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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