You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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