I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
