I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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