one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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