I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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