I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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