There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
