But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
