i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
