he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
