You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
