i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
