I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
