Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
