she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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