I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
