we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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