I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize
