Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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