I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
