You work out of a Hotel?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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