Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
